Exhibit A: Scene of the Party. |
Inside the Box:
Everyone thought the pony was awesome. They looked at him and saw this:
I did not think the pony was in any way awesome. When I looked at him, I saw this:
The pony and I made serious eye contact for a while, each of us daring the other to come closer.
It was at this point that Mom said I should ride him.
Mom doesn't have a double chin. She's just really enthusiastic here. |
I seriously did not want any part of that.
Don't ever let the pony see you cry. |
The pony was trotting around, dressed in hearts and bows and the other kids were practically pooping their pants to get a ride. The pony was just pooping. Everywhere.
Seriously. Wtf. |
We're going streakin & leavin streaks. |
Mom eventually made me do it. She said it was weird to be scared of a pony.
Told you. |
Overall, the entire endeavor was going fairly well, and much better than I could have hoped.
That is, until the beast decided he wanted to lay down ON TOP OF ME. I jumped away from him like I had just been electrocuted and stung by a bee at the same time.
Luckily, I have the reflexes of a cat, and escaped entirely unscathed. |
LESSON: PIZZA PARTIES > PONY PARTIES
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